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Thursday, March 31, 2011

Fat Love vs. Fat Hate -- Part 1: The Haters


This post is going to piss you off. It pissed me off when I was writing it. Subject-hunting one day, I decided to do an article on fat hate vs. fat love. I was planning to do it as one piece, but when I started my research I discovered a huge amount of material and realized this would have to be a two-part article. So, we’ll get the unpleasantness out of the way first and deal with the haters. We’ll save the lovers for dessert. J

We all know fat hatred is out there. Most of us find it abhorrent and try to avoid being subjected to it. However, every once in awhile, you have to put something under a microscope and examine it … try to figure out exactly what it is, where it comes from, and what makes it do what it does. The only way you can change something is by understanding it, even if it angers you. As John Lydon said in the PIL song Rise, “Anger is an energy.” Anger can be good. Anger motivates. It inspires you to solve problems. So keep those positive aspects in mind as you read through the excerpts.

I got on the internet and started researching fat hate. I decided to check if there were any fat hate groups on the popular social networking site Facebook. Guess what? I found a lot. Here’s just a small sampling of some of them, and the number of “likes” or members is in brackets beside it (the spelling and grammatical errors are left intact to illustrate the intelligence level of the group creators, and also to amuse you):
  • i  HATE fat chicks who think there hot! (76,499)
  • I hate fat chicks who think they’re hot! (12, 483) [I guess this guy can actually read and write]
  • I hate fat girls who wear tight clothes and think they’re attractive. (15,221)
  • i hate fat/ugly people who try to act bitchy. like no, your fat. (204,707)
  • I don’t hate you ‘cause you’re fat, you’re fat because i hate you. (185,942)
  • YOUR FAT I HATE YOU GO DIE. (217)
  • i hate fat slags! (2,616)
  • I hate fat girls. (1,100)
  • I HATE FAT PEOPLE (838)
  • I hate fat bitches. (284)
  • I hate fat chicks. (234)
  • I Hate Fat Kids. (67)
  • Don’t You Hate Fat Cows. (36)

There were several repetitions of the “I hate fat bitches”, “I hate fat chicks”, “I hate fat people”, “I hate fat sluts” group names. The one that actually saddened me and shocked even my shock-proof nature was the “I Hate Fat Kids” group. 67 people publicly joined a group with that name. Can you believe it?

This is just the tip of the iceberg. The next thing I researched were comments left on Craigslist Toronto (where I live), in their “rants and raves” section. A few of the comments also came from their dating section, but the majority of them were collected from the rants area. I knew it would be a goldmine for fat-hating comments.

Fat haters are comprised of two specific types. The first is toxic, sociopathic, and evil. These people are either outwardly evil, or they are sly about it and masquerade as normal. Make no mistake, though -- they are sick. What’s scary is that the majority of them usually choose to hide it, because they know their thoughts aren’t socially acceptable. You can be walking past them on the street and they may even smile at you; or you may know them, and they pretend to like you … but inwardly, they are thinking these thoughts. That is truly creepy.  

The second type is simply ignorant. They are uneducated, immature, and stupid … but not hopeless. They are possibly redeemable, and have some semblance of a conscience.

Keep that in mind as you read. The comments are verbatim; I have not changed any wording, spelling, punctuation, etc. I have separated the comments into the group types.

THE TOXIC/SOCIOPATHIC FAT HATER

There some fatties on my friend list who think there hot, think their effin cute, think there best to anyone .. but in fact there just a dumb shitz to me really.

... the so-called "BBW", whatever that denial soaked coverup acronym really means, who are exponentially bitchier than the good looking women you could actually carry in your arms without the need of hydraulic equipment.

It makes me wonder how many of you angry whiners are actually fat asses. People post things like they want to wipe out countries and all the people in them and those get left on. But anything about fat people gets flagged. Maybe if you fat fucks got off your lazy asses and lost some weight you wouldn't be so bitter. What ever happened to the notion that fat people are supposed to be jolly? Fat bastards!

Fat people make life harder for people who are relatively fit and choose not to be gluttonous pigs. Yes, that’s right, I said it. I am 5’9” and weigh 170 pounds. In other words, I’m “anorexic” compared to the bovine behemoths that are grazing all over America. … In the grocery store, fat ass has to use a motorized cart to load up on junk food that will increase her gargantuan girth! Then she complains the cart is too small. Waa Waa! Hey Blubber Butt! Stop eating so much crap and ‘gulp’ actually walk around. … Just don’t bump into me, or get too close. I don’t want any of the moons orbiting your equator waist to hit me!

I have always been repulsed by fat women. I find them disgusting: their absurd sideways waddle, their absence of body contour – breasts, lap, buttocks, shoulders, jaw lines, cheekbones, everything, everything I like to see in a woman, obscured in an avalanche of flesh … How dare they impose that body on the rest of us?

I hate you fat women. Move to the Middle East, meet a sex-starved turbin head, and have more disgusting fat babies. I hope Bush blows you all up!

My opinion is that fat women are disgusting. .. Its wrong. They complain about being fat yet cant control what they shove in their pie holes. It’s a lack of character, lack of control, lack of self respect. … Personally I do not like mounds of fat and rolls on a woman, but the huge fleshy tits are fantastic. And before any of you think I discriminate against fat women … of course I do. I exercise and make the effort to stay healthy. There is no excuse for them.

That last comment truly sickened me. Here is a perfect example of a guy who will pretend to like you so he can get at your “huge fleshy tits” … then toss you like a piece of garbage when he’s done with you, and go laugh about his latest conquest to his friends. Ick. I mean, ICK!

THE IGNORANT FAT HATER

Fat is utterly disgusting. Fat is … a lazy, slobby, greedy, and unintelligent person. Thin is … an intelligent, eager person who is in control of her life. I can’t believe fat and obese people are denying the fact that they too want to be thin deep down inside. NOBODY in their right mind likes being fat.  [posted by a woman]

Kyle Wellwood was fat, and he was a mediocre hockey player in the NHL. John Candy and Chris Farley were also fat, and they died young. yes, being a fat worthless fuck either shortens your life, or makes you useless, or perhaps even both.

Hey fat chicks need loving too. They just gotta pay.

Hahaha. Fat bitches. They don’t feel good about themselves, and they know boys don’t like them. That’s why they wear short and tight clothes. But that’s really disgusting. I feel like I wanna throw up every time I see one of those girls. X_x.  [posted by a teenage girl]

Nobody can tell you what to wear, but we can be disgusted by it, and tell you how disgusting you are. Don’t like that? Shape the fuck up.

I love this page! Fat girls are painful in the eyes  [another girl]

Women are so hard to understand. Why do they get fat once they "settle down"? I went out with a girl and she was slender and dressed real hot. After we lived together for a while she started to let herself slip. Larger meals, desert every night, no more sexy clothes. Then we split and sure enough I ran in to her 6 months later and she had lost all the weight, had tight jeans and dolled up hair and all that. So we started talking again and eventually got back together. Sure enough here we are 2 years later and she is once again a lazy slug with a protruding belly, tree trunk legs and sagging ass. You'd think a woman would want to preserve her relationship by giving a damn about her appearance. Especially since I am quite fit, work out nightly and watch my diet.

Doesn’t this make you sad? There is SO MUCH hate out there. But ... the good news is: There is plenty of love too. Plenty of fat lovers stepped up to challenge the views spewed by the people above, and that is coming up in Part 2.

My primary goal in writing this article and posting these comments is not to upset any of you, and I hope that none of you take what these people are saying as legitimate points. It goes back to what I was saying in a previous post: CONSIDER THE MESSENGER.

Are these comments coming from someone who matters to you – a relative, a lover, a spouse? No – they are coming from total strangers, people who DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU. Yes, everyone is entitled to their opinion, and not everyone is going to think we are attractive. But no one is entitled to deliberately set out to cut someone down, damage them psychologically, and wish them harm. That is what a psychopath does.

Anger is an energy, people. Let’s use the anger fuelled by these comments to inspire us to create change.

8 comments:

  1. This makes me sick. I can't finish reading it. The level of aggression and harsh, borderline violent, vocabulary is too disturbing.
    I am not hiding my head in the sand, I am very aware of this demographic, but like racists and others of their ilk, I avoid being contaminated.
    I am doing my little bit to make the world a more accepting, tolerant place.
    Thanks for facing the ugly, revealing it, and critiquing it but I am way more interested in Part Two.. :)

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  2. WOOOOOW. I really want to give that first ignorant sociopath a piece of mind. Is there really any excuse to be so cruel? I bet he never actually read any of it out loud before posting it.

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  3. Liz,

    I understand ... it was hard for me to read through the comments and re-post them here. I try to avoid negativity at all costs, but as I said in my post, some things just have to be dealt with. I realize that fat hate will never disappear completely ... but maybe if more of us get angry about it and confront these people, and let them that it's just not okay to say these things out loud -- (we can't prevent them from thinking it privately) -- it just might lessen ... I think it's worth a shot, and that was my intention when I decided to do this piece.

    I'm sure you will enjoy Part 2 much, much more. :) It's coming next week! Thanks for reading, and thanks for commenting!

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  4. nonmagicpoet,

    Unfortunately, as we can see here, these is no shortage of cruelty in this world. It actually scares me. The sociopaths are one thing -- the ones who are outwardly hateful and vile, and just want to cause pain. But I actually prefer them to the "pretenders" -- the ones who pretend to be one way, and then when your back is turned, are just as cruel and vile when talking about you to other people. To me, those people are worse, because at least with the loud ones, you know what you're dealing with right off the bat. The sly ones, you eventually find out how they are, but they can fool you for awhile, and I think that is much more damaging and dangerous.

    Thanks for reading and posting your comment! Keep coming back! :)

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  5. I have a low tolerance for hate stuff, so i didn't read the whole article ... but you're right. Anger can inspires positive things - "No Fat Chicks" shirts were what made me so angry i needed to make "Yes Fat Chicks" artwork, and try to design t-shirts, too. The second part sorta fell through - i don't know how to make connections, and print websites never work the way you want them to ... (either just one drawing per shirt type, or upload in a format none of my programs use) ...

    I feel exactly as Liz at the 1st comment - i am not hiding my head in the sand, i just have a low tolerance for mind-pollution, but i am well aware what kinds of pollution exist. And am equally as passionate about the well-being of the environment in which minds grow.
    And any bigotry is pollution. Be it against colour, gender, sexual orientation, or body type - it's not productive, it's ancient obsolete thinking that only clings on because of how religiously oriented North America is.
    It's why i fight the good fight!

    "Fat Girls are Beautiful" was the first slogan i ever came up with, and even though the first word is loaded with a lot of bad feelings, i always hope the the last word helps jar those feelings into reverse.

    And i only mention this because i know that anytime a person comments on the internet against fat-hate, they are automatically assumed to be fat and angry and therefore have no valid say (in their minds) - I am a skinny man, and i disapprove of Fat Hate. I find it as disgusting as black slavery and religious terrorism against homosexuality.
    Body types are determined by DNA. There are plenty of healthy "fat chicks" in the world - one of my own ex's - at least a hundred pounds more than me (i'm about 140), had lower blood pressure than me, and could out-walk me ... and i walk FAST, and am able to walk for long periods of time before tiring.
    Explain that, "it's bad for your health" ignorant fucks!
    (I apologize for the language - but you all feel the same way, i assume)

    I've received emails from belly dancers and ballerinas and officers in the military, healthy, active, athletic, flexible, decorated but "obese". It all depends on what a person's individual body chemistry makes them to be. Being fat is bad for some bodies. But not all. It's always a good idea to try to be healthy. But if that doesn't make you thin, THAT'S OK!!
    Ignore the ignorant, and surround yourself with people who appreciate you. Be yourself, be confident, even when you don't feel it (a lesson i myself still struggle with), and you'll make mental contact with people, and there will be several who want you. Not you if you looked this way, or changed that, but YOU.

    I'm living proof that there are guys who appreciate and are attracted to women of various sizes - we all have our preferences based on how our mind processed the information of faces as we grew up, plus the automatic visual associations decided by our naturall selected genes. We don't always have to agree with who we find attractive, and that's ok!!

    Forcing people to think one way is fascism.

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  6. Limegreen,

    What disturbs me, and saddens me, is how some fat people allow themselves to be mistreated. I want to inspire them to get up and fight! I guess I'm like a Fat Panther! Fat Power, you know what I mean? I used to be one of those scared, intimidated, mousy fat girls who just cowered whenever anyone insulted me or made me feel uncomfortable about my weight ... but that was a LONG time ago. And when I see other fat women who aren't as confident, aren't as outraged, and aren't as ferocious about protecting themselves and standing up for their rights, it gets me frustrated. That's why I want to incite all fat people -- not just women, men too -- to stop backing down to the bullies and face them. One thing I've discovered: once you confront a bully, they usually crumble pathetically. (Did anyone see the video of the Australian boy who power slammed the bully who was taunting him recently? Check it out on Youtube if you haven't, it's inspiring!) :-)

    Not that I'm advocating violence. It's never a good idea to get physical, because these assholes simply are not worth going to jail over. But there is no way a fat person should let anyone get away with making them feel less-than, inferior, unworthy, laughable, whatever. That shit has to got to stop. Period.

    As far as the health thing goes, you are absolutely right as well. I've always been a walker, ever since I was a kid, I still walk every day, and love it. I eat reasonably healthy ... sure I eat junk from time to time, but so does everyone! There is such paranoia and obsession about food, diet, and nutrition these days, it's just crazy ... all you need to do is make sure you eat fruit and veggies, protein, etc., don't eat junk every day, and move your body every day. That's it.

    Thanks for reading, and thanks for the comment. Come back for Part 2 on Fat Love! :) And every post after that too.

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  7. amazing how people hate so they can feel better about themselves... substitute stupid retarded cripple crazy or black asian latino native north americans gay lesbian and its illegal even the rich like mr trump would sue your ass off but fatties are fair game there is no hate law for them make that us...why did you choose rise public image ltd. for the video is it anger is an energy anger is an energy...hating back is pretty good too

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  8. Anonymous,

    No, no law against it ... it's the last acceptable discrimination. Wonder how long it will take to get a law passed ... and why hasn't one been passed yet? Yeah I chose "rise" for the "anger is an energy" line ... I thought it fit.

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