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Saturday, March 19, 2011

Loving A Large Lady

This post is for the guys who read my blog, and I know you’re out there, because I’ve heard from some of you, bless your hearts. (Ladies, just sit back and enjoy!)

It takes a very special man to love a large lady. She is just like any other woman, only a little more special because of the very specific stresses and pressures she has felt throughout her life. This is why it’s extremely important to know how to approach, get to know, and win the heart of a large lady.

A lot of men complain that large women have an “attitude”. Well, I’d like to ask you complainers a question: What do you expect? Most of us have had more than our share of insults, rudeness, and ignorance. Those kinds of experiences take their toll on a person. Some women never recover. Some large women cease to see themselves as female sexual beings and simply accept a life without passion, romance, or fun. This is truly sad and tragic, and totally unnecessary.

There are many beautiful, large women out there who haven’t given up, who believe in themselves, are confident in their beauty, and are looking for the man of their dreams. However, always remember that she likely has the baggage of a lifetime of feeling deficient, because it requires a degree of sensitivity.  

First of all, I would like to sincerely applaud you guys out there who can see the beauty in a large woman. I’m sure that those of you who’ve confessed your admiration to friends or family members have heard a lot of insults yourselves, or criticism. You’ve probably heard comments like: “What the hell would you want to date a fat woman for? You can do better than that, can’t you?” Or: “Yeah, she’s good for a fuck, but you wouldn’t want to be seen with her.”

Maybe some of you are so afraid of this kind of criticism that you’ve never told anyone about your preference. It’s understandable, because everyone hates feeling singled out and criticized – but the most crucial thing about loving a large woman is that it is ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL that you’re open about your preference, and also that you’re steadfast about it. If you’re the kind of man who bows under pressure, who cares too much about what people think of you, forget it. Stop reading. On the other hand, if you’re the kind of man who gets angry when other people try to tell him how he should live his life, then you are a definite candidate. Read on.

Being a BBW myself, I’m confident in saying there are generally two kinds of large women: there are the outgoing, happy BBWs who always look great; and then there are the quieter, shyer BBWs who don’t feel as secure about their attractiveness. (Believe it or not, although it might not seem that way from my blog, I’d fall in the second category of quiet and shy – until you get a couple drinks into me, anyway.) The outgoing, happy BBWs have been blessed with a natural confidence. The quieter, shyer BBWs are a little gun-shy and need careful attention.

When approaching a BBW, always be respectful. If you come across as a swaggering “Hey baby” type, she’ll spot you as a player right off -- and I don’t know too many women who take swaggering players seriously. They might be fun for a night out, but if you want to be considered serious boyfriend material, tone it down. You could say something like, “Hi, I’m __________. I’ve been noticing you for awhile now, and I’d really like to get to know you. Mind if I sit down?”

All women like to know that the guy they’re with finds them attractive – but again, don’t be vulgar about it. When you start talking to her, make sure to let her know that you find her attractive (believe me, she wants to be sure. She might just think you’re being nice.) You could say something like, “You have really beautiful hair/eyes/(or even better) skin.” Most BBWs have very creamy, soft skin and, by saying this, you’re letting her know that you’ve noticed her body and are appreciating it.

One of the most erotic, sexy moments in my life took place when I was on a first date with a guy. I will never forget it. (The relationship didn’t end up working out, but that’s another story.) We were sitting at this outdoor patio/bar type of place, and it was late spring/early summer, so I was wearing a top that showed quite a bit of skin. We were holding hands across the table and he said, “You have the most beautiful skin.” Then he started rubbing one of my arms up and down, up and down, and I swear to God, I nearly jumped across the table and grabbed him. It was amazing. So make sure you let her know that you not only are seeing her body, but that you find it very sexy – but do it in a subtle way. Make her feel like a goddess. You will turn her on incredibly.

Another crucial factor about being with a BBW is that you need to let her know that YOU are okay with being with her. Take her out places, and when you do, hold her hand, put your arm around her – let her know that you aren’t afraid to be seen loving her. This will let her know you’re a keeper, and will impress her immensely. If the unthinkable happens and some ignorant asshole makes a rude comment in public (this happened to me more than once), make sure you deal with it. If you let it pass, you're letting her know that a) you don't care that someone just treated her like garbage, or b) you're too cowardly to defend her. Either scenario is extremely unimpressive.

Once you establish a dating relationship with a BBW, treat her like a lady. Open the door for her, wait for her to sit down first, ask her what she’d like to do. And please don’t be a cheapskate. No coffee dates! Coffee dates are not “dates” – they are a cheap screening process, and don’t think we don’t know it. If you’re interested in taking her out, then TAKE HER OUT. You don’t have to spend a fortune, but any woman can spot a cheapskate and believe me, it is one hell of a turnoff.

Follow these simple rules, gents, and you will be well on your way to having a loving, sexy BBW in your life. Once you get to know her well, she will start feeling comfortable letting you know a few of her insecurities. If you can be patient and understanding with her, and if she is aware of them, they can be easily overcome and you can both enjoy being happily in love.

One last word: Don’t push the sex too soon. It’s another indicator of a “swaggering player”. A lot of men assume that because a woman is large, she doesn’t get many dates or much opportunity for sex, and they feel that if they offer sex to a large woman, she’ll automatically go for it. While I have to admit that there is a degree of truth to this – less opportunity for sex than thinner women – not all large women are so desperate that they will give it up on the first date. If you’re truly interested in a relationship with her, take it slow and follow her cues. If all you’re interested in is sex, she’ll know it, and may decide to sleep with you – or not. (If you’re this type of guy, first of all, this article isn’t for you; and secondly, I just hope she has the strength to say no.)

Here’s hoping this helps you find the BBW of your dreams. Ladies, any comments or suggestions you’d like to leave for the guys, please post them! 

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