Diet Inspiration

Has this ever happened to you?

You’re walking along, minding your own business … maybe you’re on the sidewalk, in a mall, or perhaps you’re standing in an elevator. I’ve noticed these situations seem to happen in elevators a lot.

You become aware of people behind you. It’s usually two women, but it can be a whole gaggle of them. Every once in awhile it’s men … but more often that not, it’s women. You hear them babbling their inane little chatter about some blouse they just bought or about how they went to their nephew’s birthday party the day before. You feel their beady eyes on you, boring through you like invisible power drills.

Suddenly, one of them says something like, “I really need to get back to the gym” or “I really need to lose this last 2 pounds.”

You realize that your body … the personal, sacred vessel that contains your soul … has just been used as a source of diet inspiration for someone. They may not have been talking directly TO you, but they are talking AT you. Their commentary is about you. They have examined your body, made a negative judgement about it, and are discussing it like a general source of mutual disgust. You kind of get the feeling that they hope you will overhear them for your own benefit … that you, yourself, may benefit from their observant assessment.

You feel violated. You feel angry. You feel like turning around and saying: “Bitch, don’t waste your time at the gym. Go to the bakery down the street instead. Get yourself a few donuts and scarf them down. Hopefully, the extra pudge on your ass will make you look more like me.”

But you count to ten, take a deep breath, and smile wisely to yourself. It’s not easy to be a constant source of inspiration … but you are. We make a lot of people uncomfortable. People look at you and then they assess themselves. Something inside them just doesn’t feel right, and they think they can fix it by going to a gym or going on a diet. After all, that’s what they’re told, day in and day out. Lose weight and your life will be perfect.

They look at you and assume that you are unhappy because you are big. They probably think that if you had the chance, you would trade places with them in a second so that you could go shopping at H&M, Costa Blanca, Abercrombie & Fitch, Garage, and Aeropostale and wriggle yourself into the same skinny jeans they do.

If only they knew just how fabulous you are, and how much contempt you have for their way of thinking and assessing people. But of course, they have no clue. They never will, for they are the majority … and the majority never has to change their thinking, because their way of thinking rules the world.

Or so they think.

Ulterior Motives

Living life as an overweight person is very difficult. We have all the same stresses as everyone else. We have bills to pay. A lot of us have children to raise, and a million miniscule tasks that add up to a major workload. But according to society, all these pressures pale in comparison to what our main focus should be: losing the weight.

Everywhere we look, we are bombarded by the message that we are not good enough. Sometimes members of our families, our friends, and even our mates cannot resist the temptation to tell us we need to change. We are constantly told that our weight is a problem and that we need to do something about it.

I think it’s time that we all start telling that pressure to take a hike. If you are in reasonably good health – normal blood pressure, normal cholesterol levels, no diabetes, no major aches and pains – accept yourself the way you are. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t try to lose weight if you want to. But it’s very important that you go about it in a healthy way, and that you are doing it strictly because YOU want to do it. Your intention to lose weight has to be a loving and nurturing act on your own behalf, not a desperate attempt to meet the demands of everyone around you. Putting yourself on a “I’m going to lose weight if it kills me” diet is guaranteed failure, because it is drenched in negative energy. Negative energy cannot sustain anything positive; it sputters out and fizzles quickly. Truly positive energy lingers and grows even stronger.

We need to start questioning the motives of the people around us who are giving us these messages. Ask yourself, Why is it so important to them that you lose weight? Or, more specifically: Why is it so important for them to TELL you that you need to lose weight? The truth is, people who are bent on alerting you to your imperfections do it to make themselves feel better about their own imperfections. They feel frustrated and out of control in their own lives, and in order to ease that frustration, they focus it on you and tell you that YOU need to change.

Try telling the eternal critics in your life that you have access to plenty of mirrors, and that you see yourself in them every day. Then tell them that they need to look in their own mirrors, and start living up to their own potential. It might not stop them from opening their big mouths, but it might make them think.

Multiple Choice!

Welcome to Celebreight Yourself’s first multiple choice quiz! Below are a few scenarios that most full-figured women are familiar with. Please enjoy, take your time, and pick the letter that corresponds to the option you'd most likely choose. There are no rights or wrongs, just different choices. Answers and recommendations are at the bottom.

1. You are walking down the street in the middle of the day. You notice a group of laughing, huddled teenagers coming toward you. As they approach you, the “leader” or boldest of them says, “Hey, fat bitch! Lose some weight!” Your response:

a) You stand there frozen in horror momentarily, then quickly move on, hearing their laughter behind you. You do your best to ignore the anger and hurt rising in your body. This incident bothers you for the rest of the day, and prevents you from concentrating on more important matters.

b) You glare at the ringleader, brutally jab your middle finger upward, and hiss, “Fuck off, asshole!”

c) You smile calmly, shake your head in pity, and say, “I may be fat, but at least I’m not ignorant. Move along!”

2. You’re in a bar with your girlfriends. Your friends are all on the dance floor with a few guys they met. You’re alone at the table with the lone remaining guy. He’s smiling at you, but not saying much. Finally he says, “You know, you’d be really hot if you lost some weight.” Your response:

a) You die a little inside, lower your eyes, and mumble, “Yeah, I know. I’ve tried losing weight my whole life. But it just hasn’t worked.” He starts telling you about his own workout regimen, and you listen politely, thinking: Get me out of here.

b) Your mouth drops open in disbelief and you look him straight in the eyes. “Is that so? Well, I’ll bet you’d have a big dick if you met a genie.”

c) You smile calmly, shake your head in pity, and say, “Honey, I’m hotter than hell. Too bad you’ll never experience it.”

3. You’re about to take your lunch break at work. A few of the girls are milling around, discussing their options. One of them, a stick-thin girl named April, says, “I’m only having salad for the next six months! I gained two pounds this year, I’m such a fat bitch!”

a)  You suddenly remember an important task and tell the girls to go to lunch without you, you’ll catch up with them later. You skip lunch that day ... and the next, and the next.

b)  You roll your eyes and say, “April, you know you can easily barf those two pounds up in one go. The last stall on the right has your nameplate on it!”

c)  You smile calmly, shake your head in pity, and say, “April, I feel so sorry for you. Have you ever thought about getting help for your self-image problem? There are a lot of great therapists out there.”

4. You’ve just walked into your mother/father/sister/brother’s house, wearing a new outfit that you really love. You’ve also recently just lost 10 pounds, and are feeling very proud of yourself. Your mother/father/brother/sister sees you and asks, “Is that new?” You say yes, and ask her how she/he likes it. She/he says, “You’d look so much better if you lost weight. Aren’t you worried about your health?” Your reponse:

a)  You lower your eyes, feeling tears in them, and say, “Just forget about it. Leave me alone.” You can’t wait to leave and wonder why you ever visit, because the same thing always happens.

b)  You feel a rage rising inside you, and remember the countless times she/he has made similar comments in the past, always making you feel terrible. You tell her/him, “You are such a nasty bitch! I don’t know why I ever come to see you! Get the hell out of my life!”

c)  You smile calmly, shake your head in pity, and say, “What’s for lunch?” (You realize that with some people, particularly family members who are inescapably in your life, that you can’t win no matter what you say. So you just change the subject and do your best to be polite until you can get out of there.)

SUMMARY:

If you chose mostly a) answers:

PLEASE COME TO MY WORKSHOP! You feel guilty and ashamed about being overweight, and you have a very negative self-image. You need to learn how to see that there are things about you that are attractive, and to appreciate other things about yourself as well. In my workshop, we do confidence-building exercises and lots of other fun, insightful exercises that will teach you how to develop this skill. Your confidence will soar and you’ll be happier overall.

If you chose mostly b) answers:

PLEASE COME TO MY WORKSHOP! You are rightfully angry at the way you have been treated by others, but anger is a volatile emotion that can easily turn bad. It needs to be channeled in a positive way in order to benefit from its power. If you can turn the anger into a powerful sense of self, and truly celebrate who you are, there is no stopping you. In my workshop, we do anger-releasing exercises and learn strategies on how to “re-shape” anger into a healthy sense of self-respect and self-love.

If you chose mostly c) answers:

CONGRATULATIONS! Even though you’re already fabulous, wonderful, and truly love yourself, I still want to meet you! We need more women like you out there to inspire others!

A&E's New Show "Heavy" Doesn't Take Fat People Lightly

Over the past month or so, I’ve been seeing commercials and promo spots for a new show called “Heavy” on the A&E network. Right off the bat, I knew it was something I had to see – firstly, because I’m a fat person, and secondly, because I could sense a serious tone to the show. It was fairly evident that it wouldn’t be a salacious, exploitative show like “The Biggest Loser”, which pits fat people against each other in a competition to see who is going to lose the most weight, and motivates them with perks like vacations and other choice “rewards”.

I am happy to say that my instincts were right. “Heavy” does take fat people seriously, and it portrays them with dignity and sensitivity. Each episode features two people who are severely overweight and desperately want to lose it – not for perks like spa vacations, but for their health and well-being. The first episode featured Tom, a sweet, kind 638-pound man, and Jodi, a 376-pound wife and mother of two.

Their sincere desperation was poignant for the simple fact that their weight had progressed to a life and death matter. Jodi had suffered a “mini stroke”, and Tom’s weight was obviously dangerous. They were both sent to a health spa for 30 days, where they received daily support and encouragement from personal trainers. (I was pleased to see how decently and respectfully they were treated by the trainers; they didn’t resort to degrading or demeaning tactics.) Tom could barely walk to the gym; Jodi strained and cried through most of her exercises. But neither of them gave up. By the end of the show, Tom had lost over 150 pounds and Jodi had lost 75. Although their results were triumphant, it was also clear that their journey was not over; that they both still had a lot of work to do, and emotional issues to address that had been problems for decades.

It made my heart glad to see a show that dealt with fat people not only as human beings, but as heroes. I’m sure there will be a certain portion of the audience who will consider it merely a freak show and tune in to gawk and laugh at the people featured, and I have to admit, even for me, a large woman myself, it is difficult not to gape and gawk at the sight of fat rolls that extend halfway to the floor. Most of us are not overweight to that extent, although we’ve all increasingly become aware of a certain segment of fat people who are that size, and live their lives as shut-ins. They have just lived with their problem longer, and felt more powerless to deal with it, perhaps, than we have. However, I’m sure the vast majority of people out there will be more amazed and admiring of the people who are so determined and motivated to change their lives that they will risk exposing themselves like that in order to get help.

Fat people are not mindless, brainless food factories. Those of us with lifelong weight issues know that it is far more complex than just the physical food/in exercise/out equation. Many of us are dealing with emotional factors and habits that we learned way, way back in our lives and became an ingrained part of our psyches. Losing weight is just not as simple as most people (particularly thin ones) make it out to be. We all know that we would be better off if our bodies were smaller and lighter; however, knowing something intellectually is far different than putting it into practice. “Heavy” shows the reality of this constant battle, and shows it with a sensitivity and respect that I found extremely inspiring.

This is compelling, moving TV. I will definitely be tuned in every week. Check it out if you haven’t already.