Will It Be Twat #1 or Twat #2?

Twat #1: 
Sarah Burge, aka The Human Barbie

Posing alongside her innocent and impressionable daughter, Poppy

Note stripper pole

I already have two nominees for Twats of the Year, even though it's only January. One of them was actually from last year, but I hadn't heard about him until I started researching this story, so I'm nominating him now. Sorry about the tardy nomination, Dr. Ludwig, but I'm glad to let you know that you have made my list! 

I saw this story posted on Facebook the other day. Please browse for purposes of today's discussion.

Yes ... this woman, Sarah Burge (aka The Human Barbie) gave her 7-year-old daughter Poppy a gift certificate for liposuction. She's also given her one for a boob job. Actually, it's for when she turns 18, so don't get all outraged. It's not like she's telling her daughter she has to look a certain way to be a woman. That stripper pole they have in the living room? Simple explanation: It's just a fun way to exercise! It's not suggesting that little Poppy should brush up on her pole- or table-dancing skills if she wants to get anywhere in life. It's not like she's telling her that the only power a woman has is in her pussy, and if she's smart, she better get with the program. Nah ... that has nothing to do with it at all. It's not mentally, emotionally, or even sexually abusive, either. What's wrong with telling a young girl she has to look and act like a sex toy to be successful? That's just empowering herself! Today's woman is free to take charge of both her body and her mind (and capitalize off both as much as possible).

Is Ms. Burge truly as loony and wacko as she seems? She claims to have spent literally $1 million on dozens of plastic surgery procedures. Or is she just a clever businesswoman planting this latest outrageous news story to assure her much publicity and clients for the plastic surgery business she promotes? I leave it up to you, my discerning readers, to decide. Actually, the more I read about her, the more I pity her. Apparently, she was beaten almost to death by a former lover, which is why she turned to plastic surgery in the first place. She literally needed to have her face reconstructed after the horrific assault. Obviously, plastic surgery has become not only an addiction, but some kind of coping mechanism for her. However, it's hard for me to maintain sympathy when she so blatantly inflicts her neurosis on her own daughter.

Twat #2:

Dr. David Ludwig, Children's Hospital, Boston

Posing with a sampling of a few of his favourite healthy food choices
(Does a lime wedge in a vodka on the rocks count as a fruit serving?)
Note the tennis/golf/convertible tan

Check out this  next story, however, which is even more outrageous. Can you believe that an evil mother  actually let her child get fat? And didn't do anything to stop it? Thank heavens for vigilant professionals like Dr. David Ludwig, who recognizes true emotional abuse when he sees it. What insight! What compassion! Tear a child away from his mother, punish her for a perceived unhealthy lifestyle, and that will solve the problem! So what if the kid gets traumatized even more than the bullying and harassment that he is undoubtedly already subjected to because of his weight ... let's add being stolen from his mother as another cross for him to bear. Maybe shedding some tears will kill a few extra calories.

I wonder what Dr. Ludwig thinks of Ms. Burge's gift to her little 7-year-old daughter. I wonder if he thinks that home environment -- complete with stripper pole in living room -- is a healthy environment for a young child. I wonder if he would advocate removing Ms. Burge's little 7-year-old daughter from her care and placing her in a foster home where she would receive some healthy role modeling and parenting. I also leave it up to you, my discerning readers, to decide. (And I'll bet we come up with the same answer.)

In closing, these two pieces of work get my votes for Twats of the Year. I know it's only January, but they are probably going to be pretty tough to beat. Personally, I think the doctor is the clear winner, since he is supposedly an educated person and is mandated by his chosen profession to help people rather than advocate traumatizing them. But hey ... there's 11 months left in the year. There's still plenty of time left for other fat haters to compete!

What kind of prize do you think we should we give the winner? I know ... How about a year of free enemas so the shit can come out their other end for a change?