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Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Suck-Proof Your Life

We have all met them … people who seem to specialize in sucking joy or positivity out of the air, just like a vacuum. I consider joy and positivity essential elements for living a productive life. Just try doing anything constructive or positive when you’re feeling down … it doesn’t really work, does it?

Unfortunately, there are many people who choose to go through life wallowing in negativity. They wallow in it so much that they have a surplus of it which they are only too eager to pass on.

Can you recall an occasion when you felt really great emotionally? Maybe you fell in love and had that wonderful walking-on-air feeling and the world felt like such a beautiful, magical place. Or maybe you were just feeling great for no reason at all … maybe you just looked at yourself in the mirror one morning and thought: Damn, I look good! Then one of those people came along. Their sour expression always gives them away. You see them assessing you from head to toe, figuring out which weapon from their arsenal is about to come out of their mouth. Then they speak … and momentarily (perhaps much longer than that), your joy drains away. Their mission has been accomplished.

These types of people are known as energy vampires or psychic vampires. It's a very accurate description, because their attack is a psychic one. These people are attacking your mind. Make no mistake, their action is the emotional equivalent of a punch, slap, knife jab, or gunshot, depending on the severity of their effect on you. I know people who have felt totally crippled and numbed by someone's emotional manipulation.

A lot of us tend to dismiss actions like this or believe that they are harmless by rationalizing that they are merely "verbal". While it is true that it is not quite the same as being physically assaulted, psychic attacks can be just as senseless, gratuitous, and damaging as a random act of violence.

I love the story below because it illustrates this kind of interaction so well. It was written by SARK, who is an inspirational BBW writer and artist. Her books are joyful, colorful treats to the eye, full of inspirational quotes and fun little doodlings and drawings. This story comes from her book “Succulent Wild Woman”:

I was actually warned in a restaurant one time for laughing too loudly. The manager came over and said crabbily, “Some of my customers are annoyed by your laughter. Why don’t you keep it down?” I asked who those customers were. He refused to say. So I stood up and said, “Could I see a show of hands of people who are upset by the sound of my laughter?” No one raised their hands, so I said to the manager, “Good. The matter is settled.”

Way to go, Sark! I doubt that I would have been able to handle that situation with as much poise and grace as she did, but what a fabulous way to address the issue. I also love how when these people were confronted with their nastiness and pettiness, they totally clammed up and refused to admit that they had been the person (or persons) responsible for lodging the complaint. Not only were they nasty and petty; they were cowardly about it. They wanted to lodge their complaint anonymously, from a distance, because they didn’t want to be recognized for the nasty, petty people that they truly are. They wanted to maintain their cover of being "normal".

I have also been in situations like this, where I have felt really happy and joyful, and out of the corner of my eye ... I’ve seen someone assessing me, not liking the sight of my happiness and joy, silently plotting how they are going to try and take it away from me. Why? Because they feel I don’t deserve it? Because they are jealous of me?

You may be asking … Gabriela, what does this have to do with weight? I’ll tell you … a lot of people believe that we large people don’t deserve to be happy. They actually begrudge us our happiness, and if they see that we are happy, they will actively (or passive-aggressively) try and take it away from us.

Know this … if you are left feeling disoriented, puzzled, and sullied by an encounter with a soul sucker, you are definitely on the right track, because they have seen something in you that they want … whether it’s happiness, confidence, positivity … whatever wonderful quality you are exuding.
Don’t let them take it away from you. Look them in the eye. Make them explain themselves and the reason for their objection to your happiness/confidence/positivity. Make them wriggle uncomfortably when confronted with their own true natures. Then smile, wave happily, and continue on your merry way. They really hate that. :)

9 comments:

  1. Sark reached in and pulled me out of a very dark period of my life a few years ago, just seeing her drawings reminds me 'Yes! It is absolutely FREE to choose to be about love and light and wave off the people who would try and steal that away.' Thank you for that reminder today.

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  2. I love Sark. She has been such an inspiration to me as a writer, an artist, and just as a woman. I really admire her joyful, colorful, vibrant approach to life. She is an amazing woman.

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  3. Oops, forgot to mention, Shieldmaiden ... you're welcome! :) ((((((HUG))))))))

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  4. This is excellent. I start every day with a smile and 3 out of 7 days someone will try to wipe it away before 9am. And it's never about me, it's them.
    I have always been a big fan of the smiling and being polite. Show 'em you won't be brought down by their issues.
    Great Post! I need to check out these books :)

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  5. REGRET GREGORY PECKINPAHJanuary 17, 2012 at 5:04 PM

    THE STRONG FEED ON THE WEAK ITS NATURE AND BEING PASSIVE AND POSITIVE HELPS TO DRAIN YOU IF THEIR WEAKNESS IS STRONGER THAN YOUR STRENGH YOU BECOME EXTINCT...WHY DO PEOPLE PRETEND ITS NOT ABOUT THEM OF COURSE IT IS THEY ARE FOOD TO THESE PEOPLE YOU HAVE TO FIGHT BACK THROW YOUR NEGATIVITY IN THEIR FACE MAKE IT A CONTEST REFUSE TO LOSE BECOME POISON AS BOOTH SAID SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS

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  6. Positive is stronger than negative. Do you know, there is a some kind of technique .. I think it's called reflexology, or it has something to do with reflexology ... anyway, it is a proven fact ... they have done experiments with this. They ask people to lie about something, and push down on their arm. If they are lying, their arm flops down like nothing. But if they are telling the truth about something, their arm becomes as solid as rock and cannot be moved. That's one way you can tell if someone is being honest.

    People think that being negative means they are stronger because it usually comes from aggression, but aggression is not strength ... it's just a weak attempt to get others to do your bidding.

    By the way, what does that latin quote at the end mean? I love latin. It always sounds so kickass. :)

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    1. SIC SEMPER TYRANNIS IS THE STATE MOTTO OF VIRGINIA BOOTH SHOUTED IT AS HE JUMPED DOWN ONTO THE STAGE AFTER HE SHOT LINCOLN AND BROKE HIS LEG IT MEANS DEATH TO TYRANTS...I ENJOY MY ANGER AND AGRESSION I DONT USE IT TO MAKE PEOPLE DO ANYTHING I KNOW THEY ARE HOPELESS AND STUPID AND I TRY LIKE HELL NOT TO GIVE IN TO THEIRS...MY NOODLE ARM STAYED STRONG ON THAT ONE...MAY I SAY YOUR ARTICLE ON MARIAH CAREY ET AL AND THE DIET INDUSTRY WAS A GREAT ONE MAYBE YOUR BEST YET A GREAT USE OF YOUR ANGER AND EXPERIENCE AND ABILITY TO SEE THROUGH THE BULLSHIT TO THE GREED

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  7. Thanks for the translation. Latin always sounds so damn impressive. Wish I knew how to speak it fluently. :) Then I could really let loose!

    Thank you also for your comments about my Mariah Carey/greedy, inhumane diet industry article. Yes, I was angry when I wrote it. Plenty of experience with the whole diet industry greed/bullshit. That's why I love having this blog as an outlet ... not only as a way to vent and share my opinions, but hopefully enlighten some people who might not have as much autonomy from the whole diet mentality ... people who are still caught up in the lies.

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    1. bending machine aka regretJanuary 18, 2012 at 4:59 PM

      sic semper tyrannis a way better translation would be thus to tyrants or thus always to tyrants death in latin is mori as in dulcae et decorum est pro patria mori it is sweet and fitting to die for your country ...as wilfred owen calls it the old lie

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