Don't Trash the Old You

Happy new year, everyone. Welcome to 2012. Guess what … I’m still fat. How about you? You are too? Whadda ya know.

I was chatting with a friend the other day and we were talking about our new year’s eve and how it went, what we did, etc. I was telling her about certain things in my life that I’m not entirely happy with, and she was encouraging me, saying You just have to think positive, you can’t let people get you down … and then she said: You have to create a new you … the kind of person who has exactly the life you want.

I know she was trying to be supportive and encouraging, but that phrase “new you” kind of bothered me. It suggested that the "old me" wasn't good enough ... that my current self is someone I need to cut myself off from, like a toxic relative or friend. 

I don’t want or need to create a new me. I love me. I honestly and truly do. If other people don’t like me the way I am … oh well. There’s the fucking door, whoever you are.

Yes ... like all of us, there are things about myself and certain circumstances in my life that I wish were different, but I would never want to change the fundamental person I am. If somebody waved a magic wand over me and I could suddenly be many pounds lighter, would I jump at the chance? Of course I would … but not because I don’t like who I am. I would jump at the chance because if I were many pounds lighter, I would probably feel a little more comfortable in my body, and I could wear all the clothes I would really love to wear. I would be able to strut my stuff some more. (Not that I don’t strut now, on occasion – you should have seen how hot I looked on new year’s eve -- but if I were thinner, I’m sure I would strut a lot more.)

If I could magically change the circumstances in my life that I’m not entirely happy with, would I? Of course I would. But it doesn’t mean I want to discard anything about myself now. It wouldn’t change who I am inside. I would still be the same amazing person.

I have no desire to jettison my “old” self. I have no desire to create a “new” me. I would love to manifest an “ultra super deluxe version” of me, which is simply an amped up version of the amazing person I have always been (and please don't mistake self-love for arrogance ... I am not arrogant. We are ALL amazing people and we simply need to acknowledge that.)

So many of us believe that simply because there are things in our life that aren’t currently working the way we want them to, it makes us failures or losers … that there is something defective about us that needs to be trashed and that we need to create a whole new being from scratch. I could never discard my history, my weaknesses, my failures, my regrets, my unachieved desires. They are a part of me, just as much as all the things in my life that I am so proud of.

I say: Embrace your faults. Hug your failures. Love your fears and sadnesses. Don’t hate them. Don’t make them your enemy. What we consider our weaknesses or failures are actually incredible teachers, guiding us to where we want to be. Respect them, love them, and thank them.

Start this new year by acknowledging them, honouring them, and making them your allies, not your enemies.